Pain and submission can be synonymous with pleasure. Knowing your sexual preferences and giving life to your own desires is one of the main objectives of BDSM, a set of sexual practices that involve, above all, consent.
Despite being more discussed and appreciated every day, there are still several barriers in society when it comes to sexuality. The situation gets a little more complicated when it comes to fetishes.
Self-judgment, lack of knowledge and also fear are some of the reasons why people are slow to identify as appreciating practices such as submission and masochism. That last term, for example, is used several times as a form of insult.
The truth is that, between four walls, anything goes as long as the people involved are in agreement. So, in today's post, let's talk a little more about it. Keep reading!
Source: Maria Vlasova, Unsplash
Don't know anything about BDSM? No problem! Also read our article on introduction to BDSM.
There are two body responses to any situation: physiological and emotional. When we talk about BDSM, beginners to the practice may find it difficult to unite the two sensations in just one to arrive at the answer to the question: do I really like this?
The most classic example is related to pain. In theory, it's something our bodies don't like. Pain is often a warning response that something is not right. However, during sex, it can be a factor of enormous pleasure.
The same goes for submission. The act of obeying commands can be extremely pleasurable for some people, however, it can cause a feeling of estrangement and power imbalance.
How to solve this dilemma then? Self knowledge!
In any BDSM practice, self-knowledge will be key. Knowing what you like and what you don't like is very important to define your limits and also communicate this to your partner.
For this, practitioners usually adhere to a safe word. The safeword must be said by the submissive when the practice goes beyond its limits or is not pleasing. They must be words that are easy to understand, but not linked to the sexual act.
Terms like “firewall","not", etc. must be avoided so as not to cause misunderstanding. After all, there are fetishes related to imposed sex in which the dominator will feel even more impetus to continue when hearing negative words.
If traditional sex isn't enough, chances are you're covered under the BDSM umbrella. We use the term to talk about virtually all sexual acts that run away from the traditional vanilla or vanilla.
Did you put toys to spice up the relationship? Did you tie or arrest your partner during sexual practice? Did you pat or slap when you had the opportunity? Maybe it's time to deepen your knowledge in BDSM and allow yourself to try new things.
Don't be afraid to look for what's most pleasurable to you! Sex is about trust, exchange, but also about fulfilling one's desires.
